Too Much To Dream Last Night

By CAROLINA ABELLO

Staff Writer

It was a chilly Sunday afternoon in Los Angeles and Beck Hansen was getting some groceries in the local neighborhood market. He wanted to cook his famous apple pie for his family. As he walked through the dairy aisle, he suddenly felt like the whole place fell into a disturbing silence. He looked around and continued to search for the lactose free milk. When he finally found the milk, he found out why everyone had suddenly fell into complete silence. It was Kanye West.

Beck could not believe it. He had not seen Kanye since the Grammys and there had been quite a controversy around the two of them due to Kanye’s appearance on the stage when Beck won ‘Album of The Year’ instead of Beyoncé. Beck was debating whether to greet Kanye when he suddenly heard “Yo, Beck wassup?” Beck felt like he was seeing a vision and blinked a couple of times before he could answer.

When he finally did, he said, “Hi Kanye what a surprise to see you here at the local market.”

Kanye quickly responded, “Listen man I’m glad to see you here. I wanted to get it straight with you.”

Beck was even more confused he did not know if Kanye wanted to convince him to give his award to Beyoncé or if he wanted to apologize, so he just said, “Oh no, don’t worry Kanye we should just leave that behind.”

Kanye came closer to him and said in a lower tone of voice, “Listen man the truth is that the Grammy’s are a joke. They didn’t even nominate ‘Yeezus’ for ‘Album of the Year’ last year and that is an insult to artistry. The real reason I got up man is a little personal you know, but I respect you and you got to know the real deal man cause you are a talented genius and I don’t want you to take it personal. So this is the deal man, Kim is on this diet I suggested for Fashion Week and she only drinks Kale juice. You know that green stuff is nasty and gets your stomach all messed up. So with the anticipation of ‘Album of the Year’ and stuff, she accidentally farted and I couldn’t handle it so I got up just when they announced the winner. I couldn’t admit Kim had farted man. Anna Wintour would have never talked to me again. So I just got on stage and pretended as if I was going to talk but it was just because I could not take the smell. That is probably why Jay made that face when he saw me up there cause of the stink.”

Beck found it funny and laughed, but then saw Kanye with a serious face and stopped and replied, “Thanks man I really appreciate your honesty. I feel so honored and I think the stunt really made the Grammys more interesting,” Kanye said. “Glad we got it straight, but don’t tell anyone about Kim’s accident or we gonna have some serious beef. Plus, nobody would believe you cause Kim is perfect so you would just look like a fool.”

Kanye took the last lactose free milk and left without saying anything else. Beck had lost his chance to make lactose free apple pie, but had gained so much more instead.