Building Healthy Boundaries for Yourself

Students Navigate Healthy Friendships in College

By Gabi Drobot, Staff Writer

College is a crucial period in one’s life to learn more about themselves and what truly makes one happy. Navigating friendships can be difficult when you are struggling to maintain healthy boundaries. Boundaries can be rigid to put into place, but following specific guidelines can help make the process seamless.

Boundaries are used to help protect one’s personal or mental space, much like a fence helps give neighbors privacy. Establishing these practices can help individuals improve their overall wellbeing and self-esteem.

“My first year of college, I had a really hard time setting boundaries and saying ‘no’ to my friends,” said Madeline Bryant, a junior at Lynn. “This led to me feeling behind in schoolwork and not having genuinely strong bonds with individuals.”

Many individuals find setting boundaries difficult due to wanting to be a “people-pleaser.” Boundaries are most noticed to be crossed when one feels uneasy or bothered by a particular situation.

“It took me a while to realize in past friendships that I was not okay with the way I was being treated and spoken to,” said an anonymous senior. “Once I established my boundaries, I lost a handful of friends but I had to recognize that it is okay. They just did not respect my needs.”

A significant way to accept healthy boundaries is to understand when others say “no” and to be able to say “no” for oneself. Clear communication with friends can help one make this transition. Boundaries are a two way street, meaning that both parties need to be respected.

“I sometimes felt like my friends did not want to hang out with me, but once I reflected on my personal boundaries, I realized that they needed to say ‘no’ for themselves,” said Emma Ditzig, a junior. “Once I reflected on that, it relieved a lot of my personal anxiety and my relationships with friends got much stronger.”

Setting boundaries has multiple positive outcomes, such as avoiding personal burnout by doing too much for others. Boundary-setting can decrease resentment by recognizing that others also have limits. Boundaries create balance and a strong sense of self, which is essential in healthy relationships. Although it can be hard to stand up for yourself and set these lines, the overall outcome justifies the need for these boundaries in your daily relationships.